EASTER IS A GOOD TIME TO REFLECT on the nature and experience of the risen Lord, though I find it increasingly difficult to think about such things at the moment. I would rather go on a whole new trajectory. To soar uplifted on the wind currents of the Holy Spirit would be nice . . .

Right now though I'm spent and the spirit of Thomas weighs me down. Thomas crowds in when tired as I am at the end of a good Lenten run, especially after the holidays. Thomas pokes at us like an importuning child at the bedside - wanting this and that, to know and understand, to analyze and categorize, to name and control, to objectify the mystery of the risen Lord - precisely at the moment when we're least of a mind to respond! I wish Thomas would lighten up and let me rejoice and be glad in the mystery.

I’m reminded of the Black Dwarfs in C. S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. Black Dwarfs though confessed to be on the side of the Narnians were nonetheless drawn to the Witch. At every turn in the adventure they made things difficult for the Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve, the Talking Beasts and Walking Trees of the celebrated kingdom where all creatures were blessed with light and love and the joy of living happily together. Tough-minded Black Dwarfs - always looking out for themselves, withholding support and encouragement, always practical and pragmatic, always demanding, never seeing, unable to share in the light!

Such small thoughts and -behaviors and -attitudes have a way of getting under the spiritual skin, like a tropical parasite that then malingers and undermines the spirit. They crowd aside the reality of the risen Lord. This year the early occurrence of Easter Day certainly doesn't help! Spring in Central New York is still two weeks away. Or perhaps a simpler fact stands out, namely that I’ve delayed too long a post Easter break until I could take time away with my family. There's this added pressure - always striving to balance the needs of others, even the needs of those we love don't always fit well with what's happening to us already.

Or maybe this feeling of enough and too much already has to do with tax returns. Surely I'm not the only one in that slough of despond! Or the war, or the White House and the national election campaign, the housing market and recession economy, or the state of the church, this time of year in Central New York . . . yes, I think a vacation is indicated.

It is time for a bit of letting go and letting God. We must do this more often, taking time to be away, to refresh and restore. And when we return to steward again the blessings and burdens that are ours to have and to hold as they say, may we do so with a greater trust and patience and confidence than I feel at the moment. And please, Lord, help us to be more understanding and accepting of the Thomas sorts (akin to those Black Dwarfs) who would drive your saints to despair. They are your children too. Help us to love them better.

If only they would be as happily open and accepting and engaging as when I greet Maggie after a time away. She goes to puppy spa eagerly enough. But when I return to pick her up Maggie is ecstatic, out of her Chocolate Lab skin with joy of deliverance! Tired beyond belief, hoarse from endless barking, Maggie nonetheless literally jumps for joy at the sight of me. If only we could be this happy in the knowledge of the risen Lord . . .

Aslan, I could do with a sighting! Maybe in the "Ding" Darling Wildlife Refuge . . . or maybe just in returning, refreshed in mind and restored in body to know, love, live and serve the Lord among friends, at home again.